we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
