This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i now understand why vodka
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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