Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
