How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
even my farts smell like vagina
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
