got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and she was petting her beer can
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
