no, he came in my armpit
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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