Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
