sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
