i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
