mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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