Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i think i just lost a toe
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
