Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
