i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
