DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
