i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
