Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
