i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
