With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
