She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
