this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
