I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
