Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
