Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
