I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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