I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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