Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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