God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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