Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
3 2 1 whiskey
Naked. naked and bneed help.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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