Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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