I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
