This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I still have a little drunk in my system
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
