To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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