Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
