DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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