you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
