Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
