i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
