theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
