"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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