would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
