So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
