hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
