some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
