This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
you never un-have a 4some
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
