Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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