The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
