great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
