i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
