Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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