It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it was like eating out sand paper
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
