just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
