What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
