Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
